Scott and Julie on North by Northwest

EPFTSW: "What can a man do with his clothes off in 20 minutes?" "Take a shower."
bluberryfields: lol!
EPFTSW: well, what would you do if you were in a hotel room with a young Eva Marie Saint?
bluberryfields3: i refuse to answer that :P
EPFTSW: well, the answer is clear, anyway
EPFTSW: you'd do everything in your power to MOUNT THE BITCH!
bluberryfields: lol
bluberryfields3: actually, i'd prolly look at her and go "get out of here bitch, ya bother me. and send Cary Grant in on your way out! mwrow!"

A recollection

I recalled today to some of my friends at The Daily that when I was a kid, I once saw a "missing poster," probably at a gas station my family stopped at during a road trip. The photo on the picture was of a rather homely girl, but the words on the poster described her as "very beautiful."

Well, wouldn't that throw the search off? As I told my friends: If I went missing, I wouldn't want people to put up a poster reading "Tall, handsome Aryan with a great ass." No. I'd want a poster saying, "nasty, vile little fellow."

Bad good idea

Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune wrote in his column yesterday about using the Trib's RedEye edition to salvage his teenage son's newsreading habits.

Go easy on the little bastard! I assume he already has the misfortune of looking like you. Don't make him dumber than he has to be. That's what the RedEye is: News dumbed down to an unnecessary extent. The 20-to-30-year-old's guide to being dumb. If it's featured on the cover of RedEye, we've already heard about it too damn much—and likely never needed to hear about it in the first place.

If RedEye, Red Streak, etc., are the ways to save news readers, then to hell with it. Let's just turn all the young, savvy professionals into illiterate apes, give them lobotomies and ship 'em off to work in the salt mines.

This is what I fear most in any editor or powerful media figure (which Zorn is not, but he illustrates my point anyway): The sincere conviction that some crackpot business venture will be great for journalism. Do they want to know a newsroom secret?: Your staffers, the ones who have self-respect and who take pride in good reporting and writing hate you. You have to tailor all these technologies such that real journalism will still be rewarding. Zorn has probably already given Tribune Co. execs another bad idea—expanding the RedEye market to include teenagers. At this rate, Zorn's little spawn will be making cave-drawings with his own feces by age 30.

But what the hell, I will reccomend the section Zorn has added to his blog. Onward, little rodent-man!