Sounds like LOGIC! Must be devious...
From a source in the real-estate industry (he's a FOREIGNER i.e. British), I recieved this all-too-impeccably logical message regarding a lawsuit rumor:
We have had our attorneys check every possible source ... and they have found absolutely nothing in
that regard. We therefore conclude this rumor is incorrect and has no
basis!
THEREFORE? By God, it sounds like some kind of syllogism! He sounds confident that it's a water-tight chain of logic. Sounds all too eager to put my mind at jolly ease.
Well, it's the wrong tactic to use on an American. By virtue of my nationality, I distrust prim logic. THEREFORE, perhaps he should have said: "We had our attorneys check every possible source, but lo, the LORD'S majestic columns of fire plunged downward, and a voice, o a Heavenly voice, did proclaim unto us: 'THE RUMOR IS INCORRECT AND HAS NO BASIS! SO BE IT! DISPERSE FAITHFULLY MY WORD TO ALL THE NOSY MEDIA OUTLETS OF ALL THE NATIONS!'"
Now THAT'S how you spread your impossible optimism, my mannered friend.
We have had our attorneys check every possible source ... and they have found absolutely nothing in
that regard. We therefore conclude this rumor is incorrect and has no
basis!
THEREFORE? By God, it sounds like some kind of syllogism! He sounds confident that it's a water-tight chain of logic. Sounds all too eager to put my mind at jolly ease.
Well, it's the wrong tactic to use on an American. By virtue of my nationality, I distrust prim logic. THEREFORE, perhaps he should have said: "We had our attorneys check every possible source, but lo, the LORD'S majestic columns of fire plunged downward, and a voice, o a Heavenly voice, did proclaim unto us: 'THE RUMOR IS INCORRECT AND HAS NO BASIS! SO BE IT! DISPERSE FAITHFULLY MY WORD TO ALL THE NOSY MEDIA OUTLETS OF ALL THE NATIONS!'"
Now THAT'S how you spread your impossible optimism, my mannered friend.
posted by Scott at 11:30 PM
4 Comments:
Oh, Scott, how is it possible I won't see you until September? This is precisely the sort of thing I always enjoy from you.
I couldn't agree more, by the way. We don't believe in logic or reason in the United States. That's such an "old Europe" philosophy. "New Europe" believes in religion and ideology first and fact and logic second, just like the Americans. Pah! to the roast beef and white bread of old England! Pah! to the fois gras and crème fraîche of France!
We needs us some crispy Jesus fritters, is what we need!
You're right, Wes—and as the ever-wise Donald Rumsfeld tells us, those "Old Europe" nations are "problem countries."
Mmmmm....roast beef....can I have some on the side with my Jesus fritters?
This is stupid. You should know better.
C'mon, Santi. Let me have my fun. :-P
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