Supervillain of the Day

On a normal day, the Chicago Sun-Times couldn't cover a little girl's imaginary tea party without detecting some whiff of scandal. That's why it bugs me that it plays one of today's lead stories with such credulity.

The story reports that Cook County Sheriff Michael Sheahan personally nabbed a drug-crime suspect who escaped from a hospital yesterday morning. While this is certainly not impossible, it warrants some of the CST's usual skepticism. As an infobox that accompanies the story makes plain, the sheriff could really use a symbolic display of, well, basic competence. His prisoners are escaping, not to mention shooting each other in the county jail.

Not until the 11th paragraph do we learn that the suspect turned herself in, which sort of kills the excitement/heroism angle that the CST's blaring front-page headline suggests.

And even if Sheahan had chased her down, it wouldn't have been that hard. She was charged with heroin possession and was taken to the hospital because she complained of chest pains. According to Sheahan, she's 5'2" and weighs 240 pounds. So it appears we're talking about the cops versus an obese junkie (see pic for handy reference). Oh, do be careful, Super Sheriff!